im gay
i know
yea but for you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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