I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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