I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
