Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
