I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
