doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
