Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
