whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
