don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
