I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pooping to opera.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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