a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
