i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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