Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
