I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
