god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
