I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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