it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Quick, to the slutcave!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
