and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
