Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
