You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
