so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
