so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
birth control should be required to get into college
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
