Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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