Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
