great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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