I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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