quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
