I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
