Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
