I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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