I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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