GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
