I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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