fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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