Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
