i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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