oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize