If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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