the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
