Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Holy shit dude........stairs
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