its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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