seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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