she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
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