Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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