i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
