So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
