sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
