We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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