New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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