he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
