They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
