Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
