where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
