My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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